The Titanium Bachelorette
A friend matched me with a pet-sitting opportunity that was a phenomenal pairing. I thanked her and asked, “Can you help me find a husband, too?” She said, “ If I ever find someone worthy — he is coming your way!”
You never know when someone’s words create a moment of before and after. This was one of those moments.
I found myself Bachelorette daydreaming. Not that I want to be famous…quite the opposite. Just daydreaming on the Stairmaster during a meditative hour of “me time.” The Stairmaster is my jam. People ask me how I can do it. I don’t know. I just do. I journal, write, or listen to music. The time of medicinal stress relief passes in a blink.
And scene…🎬
Host: “Meet our unicorn bachelorette. She’s an aligned hustler with an iron-clad work ethic. She’s striving to build a unique nonprofit modeled after years of research. She starts her day as a self-proclaimed gym girl. She works for the community. She strives to live with integrity and honorability. She keeps it real.
On the side, she pet sits onsite. She is trauma-informed and highly intuitive. She practices holistic healing. She frequently tells spiritual stories. She believes in it all. She wants to become a certified healer. If you’re lucky to win her heart, you’ll be a changed man.
Her hometowns will be different. You won’t meet a “traditional” family. You’ll meet a select few people who saved her. You’ll have a meet and greet with her cherished friend since college. You’ll meet former students who have been divine connections. You’ll meet her colleagues and the people she supports in the community. You’ll meet her friends in law enforcement and sign a background check report. You’ll be grilled out of love, and no stone will be left unturned.
Buckle up, bachelors — our newest bachelorette is raw, unfiltered, and searching for a man that matches her genuineness. This rare one is preparing — and ready to make this …(dramatic musical pause)…the most exciting season we have ever had. She’s our first-ever… silver-haired bachelorette. She is 46 years young, highly aware, and can read a room impressively.
Turn off your charm and unpack your heart. Psychology is this leading lady’s love language. She wants to be wooed. To do so, you’ll have to be able to answer thought-provoking questions such as:
Have you processed your trauma?
How do you process your trauma?
How do you show up — kind?
How do you show up — compassionate?
In what actionable ways do you show that you are — in it to win it?
And gentlemen, because she has been single for quite some time, your fantasy suite will be a weekend of neurological assessment. A psychologist and psychiatrist will evaluate your mental stability. You’ll need their clearance. Do you have what it takes to capture the heart of this Midwestern siren, who is anything but the girl next door?”
Tune in this season — to see if this savvy, spirited woman finds love in a first-of-its-kind launch.
{Beep. 60:00 minutes. Times up. Back to reality.}