The Merry Go Round of Life

Written By Lisa S

My brain is in overdrive, with a steady flow of thoughts. Sounds that once soothed are amplified. My heart palpitates. I live in a matrix headspace of “that was the past, you’re not there anymore, you’re here.”

My body spasms as the trauma is still knotted up. There is no “one” way to release the tension of stored trauma. Each day is a journey of learning to be comfortable with chronic pain. It’s a psychological zoo of thoughts that swirl.

It sounds a little like this:

That was the past—move on.
Now you’re fearful for the future and paranoid.
Be present.
Process the past.
Plan for the future.
Wait—go back to being present.
Feel your emotions.
Did you hear that?
Was it the wind?
Get a manicure or pedicure.
Book a gig.
Phone a friend.
Did you eat today?
Did you take a shower?
It’s time to go to sleep.
Say a prayer for what you’re grateful for.
Tomorrow we’ll lather/rinse/repeat.
And - remember to find joy in the process.

Lisa S

A woman striving to create a unique nonprofit organization - on a mission to impact the mental health epidemic. She’s sharing what she overcame and learned in years of research, healing, and perseverance. She writes raw, truthful stories about God, hope, spirituality, energy, and survival. Her vision is to show the world we are more alike than we realize. She writes about showing love, how kindness makes a difference, and rising from ashes.

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