A Siren’s Update to the Personal Bill of Rights

At my first appointment with my psychologist, she broke out a version of this—shocked that we had to go back to square one. I would love to credit its origin and creator, but I’ve also made some adjustments and tailored it.

1. I have the right to ask for what I want.

SS: I have the right to be confused to not know.

2. I have the right to say no to requests or demands I can’t meet.

SS: Saying no to what I don’t want to do, and what I am physically incapable of doing, may ruffle feathers.

3. I have the right to express all of my feelings, positive or negative.

SS: I have the right to express positive/negative feelings in a safe place. Some feelings, when expressed in the moment, have catastrophic repercussions. I do not have the right to be callous, mean, or cruel.

Essentially, don’t be a dick.

4. I have the right to change my mind.

SS: Which might disappoint others.

5. I have the right to make mistakes and not have to be perfect.

SS: Sometimes, imperfect is perfect. We learn by making mistakes.

6. I have the right to follow my own values and standards.

SS: I also have the right to be misunderstood.

7. I have the right to say no to anything when I feel I am not ready, it is unsafe, or it violates my values.

SS: ^ The best lesson I learned

8. I have the right to determine my own priorities.

SS: This takes time and evolves.

9. I have the right not to be responsible for others’ behavior, actions, feelings, or problems.

SS: This changes with age and responsibility. There is a time and a place for it.

10. I have the right to expect honesty from others.

SS: I can expect it, but might not receive it. I have the right to take time to do research.

11. I have the right to be angry at someone I love.

SS: But - again - don’t be hurtful.

12. I have the right to be uniquely myself.

SS: You sure do!

13. I have the right to feel scared and say, “I feel afraid.”

SS: But remember - on the other side of fear, when you’re ready, there is a freedom - be smart. Trust your intuition.

14. I have the right to say “I don’t know.”

SS: The world will tell you otherwise.

15. I have the right not to give excuses or reasons for my behavior.

SS: Sometimes, providing a reason, even an excuse, helps understand and builds trust.

16. I have the right to make decisions based on my feelings.

SS: I have the right to also make decisions from a wise, level-headed space.

17. I have the right to my own needs for personal space and time.

SS: Up top for this one.

18. I have the right to be playful and frivolous.

SS: …in the right space, in the right time. Not sure about frivolous, I say do what makes you happy without causing harm.

19. I have the right to be healthier than those around me.

SS: I have the right to make healthy decisions.

20. I have the right to be in a nonabusive environment.

SS: Absolutely.

21. I have the right to make friends and be comfortable around people.

SS: This takes time.

22. I have the right to change and grow.

SS: We’re supposed to : )

23. I have the right to have my needs and wants respected by others.

SS: Won’t always happen - but it’s a nice dream.

24. I have the right to be treated with dignity and respect.

SS: When I act respectfully, with dignity, I have the right to be treated the same way.

25. I have the right to be happy.

SS: ^ That one is my favorite.